So… Uni Work…

I spoke to one of my uni friends today about this blog, and she said that I should add some of my own work as well… So here we go. This is the beginning of a piece I worked on in children’s writing about refugees.

-x-x-

It was nighttime when we came off the plane. Mumia smiled at me, holding my hand so that I didn’t get lost amongst the crowds of people returning to their Mumias and Babas.

“New beginnings,” she whispered quietly.  I looked at her, and saw sadness mixed into her smile. The truth seemed ‘to hit her like a bus’. There was only us. I had lost my own Baba somewhere on the journey, and so we were left here alone to start this new life. I was scared, but I felt that I couldn’t show this even to her. I had to be strong. That had always been what people called me: the strong one.

As I think about all my old friends, I really want to cry. I probably won’t ever see them again. Many of them left at the same time as us, but one by one they seemed to disappear into the night. Mumia says that I’ll make new friends, but I’m not too sure. It took me all my life to make my old ones, so how can I find people to replace them just like that. As I look up at Mumia I see that she’s looking around for something. Not knowing exactly what I’m supposed to be looking for I start to stare around the airport as well. Somehow copying her makes me feel a little bit calmer. My eyes wonder towards a sign: ‘L-E-E-D-S B-R-A-D-F-O-R-D AIRPORT.’ I can’t help but smile. Mumia has told me that we’re safe now. That they’ll be no more running. No more hiding.

She looks down at me, squishing my hand slightly to try to comfort me. ‘I’m fine,’ I say, trying to reassure her that everything is going to be okay. I don’t know whether I sound very convincing, but it’s the best I can do. She leans down to kiss me on the forehead before looking me in the eyes:‘We’re the lucky ones. Everythings going to be okay.’ I can’t tell whether she believes it or not quite now, but soon we’re walking towards the ‘departure lounge.’ ‘They’ll be waiting for us,’ she smiled. I have no idea how she can put so much faith in these people. We’ve never met them before. I was always told not to talk to strangers, but now I’m just supposed to follow her into a car with a whole group of them? I can’t help but smile up at her. She laughs nervously like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.‘Things have changed my airtafae.’

As we walk hand in hand through the departure gate there are even more crowds of people. Some are doing exactly what we’re doing, just standing still – trying to take everything in. We don’t have long to do this though – no time to readjust to all the different sounds and faces.

‘Almasi,’ a voice much louder than the crowds of people shouts across the lounge. ‘Almasi family,’ he repeats again.  He’s even holding a card with our name on it. I looked up at Mumia and can see her happiness. For the first time I realize that she had never really believed that somebody would meet us at the airport. That was something that we had learned on our travels to here: you can’t trust anybody.

We walk up to the man quickly, still holding each other closely. Most of our fears seemed to disappear for a second, but I’m still thinking about Baba. Almasi family didn’t quite describe us anymore. Maybe he should have just said… well I don’t know what he should have said, but really there was only me and mumia. We’re only a part of the Almasi family.

But anyway, that doesn’t really matter now. We approached the man, and soon we were in this car. Then we were going down this street, and then this street, and it was dark so I couldn’t see where we were exactly going. I somehow felt safe though, even though I had no idea where I was going. ‘We’re going to our new home,’ mumia said as she brushed the hair away from my face. It always amazes me how she always knows what’s on my mind. I can’t think of anyone better to start this new life with, I just wish Baba was still here.

Suddenly the car stops, and this is where it will really begin. The man leaves the car, opening the doors for us. It’s starting to get a little bit lighter now, so I can see the general outline of a house in front of us. This is it. This is where we’re going to live now.

We follow the man up the little step towards the house, and then the door is unlocked and we’re inside. The lights switch on, and suddenly the whole house seems so bright that I can’t see anything.

My eyes quickly adjust to the light, and then I can see everything. We’re in a small sitting room. One sofa, one chair and a t.v. I look up at my mumia, and I can see everything that she’s thinking. It’s not exactly what we had had at home, but at least it was ours. We had somewhere to stay, and to be safe. As the man left we sat not on the sofa but on the floor, holding each other closely. We both cried, and I don’t think either of us knew whether it was happiness and relief, or sadness for those we had left behind.

This was it, our new start. In a few days I would start school, and mumia would have to start looking for a job. Right now though we pushed those thoughts to the back of our minds, and just concentrated on the fact that we were safe and together.

-x-x-

Obviously this is a first draft of a first idea, but I hope you can see what I was trying to do. I’m actually interested in trying to extend it for my coursework, but as usual I’ve got so many ideas flashing through my brain that I’m not quite sure.

Anyway, for now until next time.

Sarah

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Missed Chances…

So last night I had one of those moments when I suddenly just looked up from my screen and just asked myself why I was even bothering. I went and learned Writings on the Wall on the piano, and just generally contemplated life for a couple of hours. I mean, don’t get me wrong I love uni, but sometimes I look back at my childhood heros and just think about how I’m the same age (or older) than when they wrote their first book, or when they released their first single… and then I just started to wonder whether I will actually get to that point, like ever.

If I’m perfectly honest with you guys, I have two big dreams: to write for a living, or to sing for a living (or in an ideal world where I don’t have to sleep, to do both at the same time.) I always said that uni would give me the chance to advance my skills, whilst also giving me time to get on with my life. It just seems like I have less time now than I ever have before. That’s the general way I was thinking, but then I just looked deeper at what I was actually working on. Suddenly, it seemed that that was only true because I was looking at it in the wrong way. Even though I’m busy with work, I’m still doing the things that I love, so what am I even complaining about??

Since I’m now in third year it was dawning on me just how many opportunities I had missed out on at uni, just because I couldn’t be bothered, or more precisely because I wanted the time by myself to work on my dreams. I’ve missed chances to work with big authors, just so that I could write songs which I never play live because I’m too scared that they’re too honest. I’ve missed guest lectures from people who could have taught me more about writing in the way I want to, just to contemplate plot themes that I’ve never continued. I just feel as if I may have missed out on that ‘something’ that could have helped me just sit down and write the novel which I’ve restarted like 3 times.

So, when I was thinking all these things over I realised that although I love uni, I haven’t really made the most out of it. It’s like that friend that keeps on trying to help you, but you just ignore because you think you’ve got it all covered. I kept on just thinking about the reasons why I started uni, which was generally to make the most out of my life. Then I started thinking about what I’ve actually done at uni – thinking that I’ve really let myself down. Uni is more than just attending lessons and submitting essays, it should be looked at as a whole new journey – a whole new experience. That’s just something which I seemed to have forgotten.

I’m not saying that I’ve done bad academically (I’m looking at getting a 2:1,) it’s just that I’ve neglected the whole ‘experience of it.’ I really should have just gone to those guest lectures. I should have just gone to those extra workshops with those amazing authors – that is where I’ve missed out. I looked at my degree as just a piece of paper, and in the end that’s led to me not enjoying my degree to the fullest level. I mean, I’m paying £9000 for this, why did I just waste so much time on things that I could of done for nothing?

Now after all of this, I feel that I should just come out with it: just make the most of your university. They all have so much more to offer than that 9am Monday morning lecture. It’s about guest workshops. It’s about networking. It’s about how you take those poems that you hate, and suddenly understand how it applies to you. That’s what I’m doing from now on. I may have started a couple of years later than I should of, but I’m already enjoying my whole uni experience a lot more, and because of that I’m attending more, understanding more and ultimately gaining more.

University is as much as you put into it.

I guess that’s where this post ends. Don’t be that third year student who looks back and wonders what they spent the past two years doing. Uni is as useful as you make it.

Sarah

First Blog Post Nerves

Lets say for conversations sake that my name is Sarah. It might as well be Chrissy, or Melissa or even Gertrude, it just doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned we’re all in the same boat. I just want to look at the up and downs of a twenty-something university student in her final year. It’s just such a confusing time. Constant deadlines and the never-ending dread of graduate life jut around the corner… no wonder we drive ourselves crazy – that can’t be easy for anybody!

I’m not going to promise anything, but I have a kind of idea of what I want to do, and this includes:

  1. Maybe I look specifically at issues involving depression and anxiety, and maybe I don’t.
  2. Maybe I offer descriptions of  personal experiences, as well as looking at ways to try to get on with life despite it all. Maybe I won’t?
  3. Maybe I post weird gif things that make me laugh, in a hope that you’ll share the same sense of humour as me…or… Okay – I will definitely do that… 😛
  4. Just general life stories that might make you realise that that “SUPER embarrassing” thing you did once is just nothing compared to half of the stupid things that I’ve done…

As you might have guessed I don’t really know what I’m going to do with this blog, I just know that I want to do something! We’re all in this together, and as far as I’m concerned, I honestly don’t think anybody has it as together as they pretend xD

We all come in pieces…

Sarah