Day 5

Todays been a good day again.

Breakfast: Chocolate Shake. Even better than last time, as I shook it for longer and it was even more creamier than last time. I’m giving it a 7.5/10.

Lunch: Indian Curry with Rice. I really loved the taste of this, and the other people with me couldn’t help but tell me how lovely it smelled and looked. It was just the right amount of spicy, and was really nice and creamy. One thing that I did think about the curry was that the rice did see very firm, and I think it could have done with maybe 30 seconds more, even though I did follow the instructions.

Despite this I really loved it, and I’m going to give it a 9/10, taking one of for the rice. If when I cook this next the rice is soft it will definitely be a 10.

For Tea I had the Sausage Mix again. I really loved it last time, and just couldn’t wait another day to have it again. This time, I didn’t have it with lettuce as I felt I didn’t need it, and I realised just how strong the herbs were. It was absolutely lovely. Again, straight 10/10. Nothing I would change about it at all.

One thing I want to say about this diet overall is that I am hardly ever hungry any more. I mean, I literally didn’t eat anything at all into four today, because I didn’t feel like I wanted anything. It just seems that my appetite has disappeared. Despite this, I really do look forward to all my meals, as they are lovely and filling.

Sarah

Day 4

Wow. 4 days in and I’m still going strong. Today I actually ordered some new food, as I didn’t want to risk getting bored of the same 6 breakfasts, 4 lunches and 5 dinners. Ordered a bunch of nice sounding bars and a couple of types of flavoured coffee etc, just for when I don’t feel like just drinking water or normal coffee and want a bit of a change. Should be here on Monday, as I ordered it Saturday night and don’t desperately need it.

Today I had:

Bacon and Cheese Eggs for breakfast. They were okay. I thought they tasted too strong of bacon and egg flavour though, but the consistency was alright, and was nice and filling.

Overall: 6/10. As I said the flavour was really too powerful for me, but saying that I wouldn’t mind eating them again.

Then I had Pasta Carbonara for tea. It was great – like really. I love pasta, and I love the fact that I can eat things that I normally would do, without half the mess and still lose weight!

I would give it a 10/10. There is literally nothing I would change about it. I loved the consistency and the flavour!

For tea I had a Vanilla Shake. This time it was even better than the last one. Going to give today’s milkshake an 8/10 – probably because my partner seems to be better than shaking them than I am, and they always come out nicer when he does them for me 🙂

Anyway, really quick today. I’ve only got 3 weeks left and uni, and the lack of motivation that I have to do anything other than obsess about this diet has to be dealt with.

Sarah

Day 3

Today was kind of a difficult day, and not because I was hungry at all, but because I spent the day with my partner’s family, and they ate out. In the end, I decided that I was going to stick to the diet, and they completely understood, but I did feel a little bit jealous as their chicken and chips came out. More than a little bit jealous. I love chicken and I love chips, but still, it wasn’t the end of the day and I am happy that I didn’t give into the temptation.

So this is going to be really quick, as it 00:15 and I’m really tired.

For breakfast I had a Strawberry Milkshake. It was really nice and smooth, and I liked the taste. I did add a bit more water, but again that’s my preference because I’m not a fan of really thick milkshakes.

Overall I would give it a 8/10. I preferred it to the Vanilla Milkshake just that little bit, and I’m looking forward to my next one.

For Lunch I had a Banana Milkshake. This one really surprised me. I don’t normally like Banana anything, but I absolutely loved this. This was my favourite milkshake, and it tasted so nice that I didn’t mind that I was sitting in a restaurant sipping at a milkshake whilst everybody else was eating a lovely looking meal.

Overall I’d give it a 8.5/10. It wasn’t too sweet and the consistency was perfect for me.

For dinner I had the Sausage Mix, and I LOVED IT. It was by far the nicest thing I’ve eaten so far. I did add a bit of salad to it (literally no dressing or anything) but this was because I just fancied a bit of a crunch – which is something that I have missed from eating. Despite the fact that it tasted absolutely beautiful, I would like to add that in the end I didn’t actually roll the mixture into sausages. I copied Tracy from http://www.fatgirlslim.org/, as I agreedwith her that the mixture looks sticky and I didn’t want to make a mess.

Other than this it was amazing. Absolutely the BEST meal I have had on this diet, and actually the nicest veggie sausage I’ve ever tasted. If I could give it above a 10/10 I would, but that just doesn’t work for me, so I’m literally given it a 10/10.

Oh another thing… I have found out that I really like black tea with a tablet sweetener in, which is a massive step forward, as I can now drink more than just water and the occasional can of Coke Zero.

Sarah

p.s. I have now learned the difference between ACTUAL hunger and COMFORT/BOREDOM hunger. I can’t exactly describe it, but I succesfully told myself not to order pizza earlier due to the fact that I knew I wasn’t hungry, and was just upset. Good thing I didn’t really, because the pizza would have probably got soggy, and failing on the 3rd day would have made me feel even worse.

Instead, I just made myself understand that I wasn’t hungry – because I could tell that I wasn’t really, and made myself go make a cup of tea and watch TV for a bit instead.

 

Day 2

So today was my second day of this 600 calorie diet, and again I was surprisingly aware of how much I wasn’t hungry. I decided to eat dinner with my housemates and my partner today, so if I’m honest I kind of wished I was eating what they were eating instead, but at the end of the day, I’m very much overweight and need to lose it. I’ve tried a lot of diets, and the whole ‘just eating normal food and calorie counting’ doesn’t work for me, because I don’t notice the results, and then I start thinking that I might as well just have an entire pizza because obviously that’s completely going to help me lose the 10 stone I am aiming to lose overall. Anyway, I can easily be very defeatist about diets, but the amount of money I spent on it, and the easiness of this diet just pushes me forward.

Anyway, the food.

So for breakfast this morning I had Blueberry and Raspberry Pancakes. I was really looking forward to them, because I absolutely love pancakes. Again, just like the meals I had yesterday they were pretty simple to make, but I still managed to mess them up. I think that my cooker-top must run hotter than other hobs, as it said to cook it on high, and I did, but felt that the inside of the pancake when I took it off the hob wasn’t completely cooked, even though the outside looked perfect. Tbh, I’m a complete disaster in the kitchen, so I’m not completely surprised that I can’t even follow simple 2 step recipes properly.

Anyway, other than the issues with cooking I found that they were way to sweet for me, so I’m not really a fan, which kind of makes me sad, as it was one of the best flipped pancakes I’ve ever done – it literally looked so pretty and tasty. Overall though, the taste really really let it down for me, and because of that I’m going to have to give it a 3/10. Honestly, I think it would have been a lot better if I had managed to cook them properly, hence any points of all, and next time i’ll definitely cook at a lower temperature.

After the pancakes, I felt really really full, and actually couldn’t eat anything until about 6:30 in the evening, so I decided to have the Sweet and Sour Noodles next.

They were really tasty, and I loved everything about them. I added a little bit more water than the instructions called for, and it made it the perfect consistency for me. There’s not really much more to say: I definitely recommend – 9.5/10.

So about half an hour after I ate my meal I suddenly wanted to eat again. It wasn’t hunger, but I was bored. I was suddenly really happy that I’d only had 2 of my meals today, so I ran downstairs and grabbed my shaker bottle and a Vanilla Milkshake.

I really liked the Vanilla Milkshake. It was really nice and creamy, and exactly the right consistency for me. I definitely preferred it to the Chocolate, and so I’m going to give it a 7.5/10. I would give it higher, but when looking at it in comparison to the meals, I would have much rather cooked another meal, but then I didn’t really feel like making it, which is why the shakes are great, as it allows me to have a meal with almost no preparation at all.

But yeah, anyway, second day, and I’m still really enjoying it, and still haven’t felt hungry. My partner is literally astounded, because normally I’m the kind of girl who will eat a large Domino’s pizza and then get hungry again and order something else. So far I’m literally found this amazing.

As far as water has gone today, I’ve had one of those really lazy days where I’ve literally done nothing other than play my guitar and write songs, so I haven’t drunk nearly as much as yesterday, simply put because I couldn’t be bothered to keep filling my glass/waterbottle up. Anyway, altogether today I’ve drunk about 2 litres, which is underneath the amount of water I’m supposed to drink a day, so I might just go drink another bottle now xD

Sarah

 

Day 1

Today was the first day of my diet, and I actually feel perfectly fine, I literally haven’t been hungry at all, which is kind of amazing as normally I’m just hungry 24/7. Maybe it’s all just in my brain, but I don’t feel hungry.

Before I actually look at what I’ve eaten today, I’m just going to say how excited I was for my food to arrive! I literally was so so happy… I swear, I haven’t been that excited in like a long time…

Anyway, the food so far has been really nice.

First I had a chocolate milkshake. This wasn’t really something I was looking forward to, as when I tried this specific diet before I didn’t particularly like it, but it seems as if they have improved the flavours, either that or I was just really hungry by the time the parcel actually arrived at about 4ish. I know it’s not particularly healthy to not eat for that long, but in all honesty I was so excited about my delivery that I wasn’t actually hungry anyway, and I didn’t want to mess up my first day before I had even started!

Overall I think I’d probably give it about a 5/10 – I don’t mind eating it, but I’ll probably prefer the other flavours. One definite plus (which probably wouldn’t be counted as one by many people) is that I got to do exercise – as in I shook the shaker bottle for 2 minutes straight 😛 I never said that this was going to turn me into a super athlete, but at least it was a starting point!

Then, at about 6:30 I had this Lemon and Yoghurt Bar. It came free with my order, so I wasn’t exactly sure of what I expected. Overall, I think this is the product that I liked the least. I mean, I’ve only tried 3 items today, but I really didn’t like the taste of it, but then it did make me feel full, and I actually made it last a while.

Anyway, so I wasn’t a fan, but that could just be personal choice. Overall I’d give it a 1/10, because I didn’t really like the taste, but I did like the texture, so I thought I’d give a point for that xD

For dinner, which I literally had at about 8:45ish, I had a Spaghetti Bolognaise. I was really looking forward to this, as it was one of my favourite meals from the last time. I would say that of the three meals I had today, this was my favourite. It was really nice to be able to have something hot, and it was so easy to cook. Literally add water and microwave. Yes, the portion was small, but that’s to be expected when the whole thing was 200 calories.

It was really tasty, and although I think they’ve again changed the recipe (as it tasted a bit different from how I remembered it,) I still loved it. I would definitely recommend it, and although I don’t want to say the diet now, as people might think that I’m sponsored or something, I’ll probably mention it on my last blog post about this diet, and then I definitely recommend!

Overall, I would give this specific meal, this specific time a 9.5/10. I had to knock a point off, because even though the instructions were easy, I think I didn’t add enough water. I know that’s my fault, but still, it impacted my meal just that little bit.

But anyway, altogether I feel great. As well as actually sticking to 600 calories, I’ve actually drunk a lot more water. I’m normally don’t drink enough water, but today I drunk about 3.75 litres, which actually puts me at the higher RDA for water!

So yeah, altogether I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. I really enjoyed not having to actually cook today, and the fact that I literally only had a shaker bottle, a fork and bowl to wash up! There I was thinking weight-loss was going to be hard!

I’m really looking forward to stepping on the scales next week, and seeing how much I have lost!

Sarah

 

Diet

So… tomorrow I’m going to start dieting again, and I actually think I’m going to start documenting this regularly, because then I’ll actually be able to look back at this and see how far I’ve come.

So basically, I’m 21, and I’ve always been ‘the fat one.’ It doesn’t tend to bother me that much, I mean, I know I’m overweight, and that I’ve got a major problem with food and will-power. I’ve tried all the diets, and initially I lose a lot of weight and then just lose interest. The best diet I’ve actually been on was when I first started uni. I went on the VLCD (very low calorie diet) and went down like 3 dress sizes, but then over the next two years I just saw myself balloon and balloon, right past where I was when I first started it. Basically, as soon as I got off it I just went straight back to eating way too much pizza and pasta.

This time I’m going on the same diet, because honestly it really worked, and I felt better about myself than I had in ages. It made me feel ‘healthier’ and like I was ‘glowing,’ even though I was only eating 600 calories a day. Don’t worry, it may be only 600 calories a day, but the doctors have said it’s okay, as I record how I feel daily and stop if it becomes to much. Basically, the one I have chosen has 100% RDA for all the minerals etc you need, so it’s kind of just cutting out the calories, which at 19 stone 5 (273 pounds; 123 kg) is exactly what I need to do to lose the weight.

But anyway, I’m really looking forward to it. I know from my past experience that I generally find it easier and less hassle than day to day cooking etc, and they’ve introduced new foods, so I can’t wait for the package to arrive.

Altogether I have spent £130 on 50 days of food, and £5 on a new shaker bottle, as I somehow managed to lose my old one. Although it sounds a lot, that’s actually only about £19 a week, which I see as worth it. If you take into account that I order probably £30 of pizza a week, and then add at least another £15 of food on-top I’m actually looking at making a saving of about £25 a week. I know my parents will be annoyed that I’m going back on this diet, as they worry continuously about everything that I do, but I really need to do something about this. I want to be healthy again, but I just don’t have the will power at the weight I am right now to actually stop myself getting bigger and bigger. I need that initial noticeable weight change for me to feel as if there is any point, and I know from past evidence that that is exactly what I will gain from this diet.

But anyway, this was just the first of a series of posts which I will probably write about this experience, and I can’t wait for the delivery to arrive tomorrow!

Sarah.

Boredom

Right now I am so bored. I know only boring people are supposed to be bored, but I am so bored that I literally can’t even work out what to do.

I mean, today i’ve done a bit of uni work, applied for a job, looked at houses on rightmove, played sims, but really i’ve just been trying to work out what to do to pass the time. I’m doing these things literally because I’m bored, but then they don’t even make me slightly even less bored. It’s like my brain is just completely numb, and has no interest in anything.

So for the last 2 weeks I’ve been working 5-6 days a week, and when I’m at work I’m not really that bored. I’m doing things, I’m talking to loads of different people, and I’m actually doing stuff. Here’s my problem. I don’t know what to do when I’m not at work anymore, or when I don’t really have my uni work to do. Basically, I feel like I’ve got barely anything to do for uni anymore, I spent so much time before Easter doing my work that I basically don’t have enough to keep my interested.

I really have no idea what to do, so now I’m just writing this… but I already got bored of this like 2 minutes ago… anyway…. I’m bored. Make me less bored.

Sarah

Prep. Reading. Results.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be me stressing out about my lack of potential experience etc, as I’ve kind of decided to kick back and relax about that for a while. I mean, I have plans, I’ve applied to 2 different jobs that I do have experience in and would love to do, so I’m just keeping my fingers crossed at the moment with those, but in reality I realised that I was being so obsessive about looking for jobs, and trying to work out the future that I was not actually concentrating on the present. I would be looking for grad jobs whilst ignoring my deadlines, so for now I’m just doing the deadlines instead. I mean, if I don’t actually get the grades then I won’t be able to get grad jobs anyway… so in this case I think the egg really needs to come before the chicken, or something like that xD

Anyway, so as I’ve probably said this about a million times, but I only have one semester left, so I’ve decided to give it all I have. For my first semester this year I got four good 2:1s and a first, so if I just put in as much effort (if not even more) into my dissertation and final essay I will definitely be able to get the 2:1 which I have been aiming for since the beginning of this year. I’m really happy with myself as well, because it was the first time since starting uni that I managed to actually successfully complete my essays without my depression/anxiety flaring up and me having to apply for extenuating circumstances. For me, this year has really just been a brand new chapter in a book. I’ve come off my tablets, I’ve sorted out/come up with a plan for the ridiculous amount of money I spend on food, and I can finally go out by myself and not feel as if people are going to kill me. It’s just been brilliant.

But anyway, that’s not what I originally set out to do. What I actually wanted to do was talk about how I’ve actually been reading the books for my course in my break, and how I’ve managed to make myself sit down for hours reading books which I wouldn’t necessarily ever want to look at outside of uni. Again, proud Sarah here, really proud Sarah – look at me actually being able to do my work xD

So I’d like to start by saying that I probably haven’t read as much as other people, because I’ve only read 3/9 essential texts, but I’ve done a lot of reading around my dissertation and the writing in residence programme which I’ve been accepted on to, so still altogether thats about 7 books in 4 weeks, so an amazing triumph for me. The crazy thing is that I’ve actually been enjoying it, so here’s a small list of what I’ve done to kind of help myself get through the hundreds and hundreds of pages that I have read in the past month. I mean, in most regards it’s here so that I can look back and be like ‘oh yeah, that works, I’ll try that again,’ but you never know you might find something useful!

1. I’ve been locking myself away from everyone.So yeah, I have become a hermit. By that I don’t mean I haven’t seen anybody else, but when I’m reading I lock myself away from everybody else, and I don’t even let them in the room. It is physically the only way I can concentrate, so it’s just a necessary thing that I’ve had to do.
2. I’ve dedicated entire days to reading, and doing nothing elseSo for me this was the craziest thing that I worked out. I can’t concentrate on books if I have anything else planned for the day, so I planned nothing but reading for pretty much the entire month and just got on with it. Yes, it got a bit boring sometimes, but i’d just force myself on with it, and eventually I’d get to a point where I was enjoying it again. I originally tried the whole ‘work for a bit, then have fun for a bit’ but it didn’t work, as the ‘fun for a bit’ quickly just turned into me not reading for ages. Anyway, it worked for me, so I guess it should go here.
3. Reading bits and pieces from different booksAnother thing that I found really worked was that if I was finding a specific bit of one book boring, I would then flick to another book, and pick that up until I felt like I wanted to go back to the other. I always thought that this was something that I would never be able to do, as I felt that the plots would all get mangled together into one super book which was basically one massive soap opera of all the different books, but that didn’t happen, and it really helped me to get through the list that I have to cover before going back next week. I mean, right now I’m also reading another two books, so I alternate them as I feel, and it leaves me not feeling bored of one specific writing style.

Again, I have no idea what this post was about. Basically I can read, and I’m happy with my first semester results.

Until next time,

 

Sarah xx

Internships/ Jobs/ Future Life Goals

Just to start, here is my current twitter status. I feel it sums this post up pretty well:

So for the past couple of months I’ve been trying really hard to try and find internships or student jobs for after I finish uni, and I’ve kind of only just found out how hard this is going to actually be. Like, I’ve been working since I was 14, so I was kind of like, I’ll be able to get a job. I’ve never not had a job, so surely this will be easy…. turns out I was completely wrong!

I feel like one of the main issues is that I’ve always been told that any kind of job builds up experience, so I’ve been happily/unhappily working in a shop, or waitressing or cleaning, thinking that it will look good on my CV, whereas in reality when looking at copy/content writing, this blog (as in technically my diary) is actually a better measure of my writing ability. Well thats what it seems like that anyway… and to me when first starting my job search, it seemed crazy, because in some regards surely my degree could show that I can write, and my previous work experience can vouch that I’m hard-working and that I pick up new skills quickly. Anyway, that’s how I was thinking when I started my job searching, but now I really do understand why you need experience in a field. I mean, when actually thinking about the job roles which I fulfilled before, being able to slice bread or clean a room really well doesn’t mean that I’m going to be able to write an amazing slogan for a product, or write a blog post, and with my degree, English is such an all encompassing degree that there’s no way that I’ve covered even half of what ‘writing’ is. So, I’m not annoyed, I’m just scared, and kind of weirdly surprised that I’m in that large pool of people who need experience, but can’t get somebody to give me a chance to get the experience.

So right now, I’m now in a situation where I’m trying to get work experience, and suddenly it all seems really last minute and unprepared. I mean, I’ve had all my life (or at least 6 years) to try and get some, and the fact that I’ve now got only 4 months until I finish uni suddenly makes me feel as if I just don’t have time to do everything to make me stand out against all the other candidates for the jobs.  I mean, I’ve maxed out my C.V. and contacted some local advertising agencies asking for work experience, but now it’s just a waiting game, I just hope that I haven’t left it too long to be able to actually find someone to take me on…

Again, that’s all I really have to say. Hopefully I’ll get a reply from one of my emails and somebody will want me to do some work experience with them…

Fingers crossed,

Sarah xx

 

 

 

 

‘Quick! They’re coming…’

So yesterday we got one of those awful calls off the lettings agents to say that they would be popping in to take some pictures… needless to say, we all just stared at each other in terror. Tbh, it’s pretty much completely mine and my partners fault, but our house is never in a state where ‘a quick freshen up’ is an option, so I have to spend an entire 24 hours removing stuff from the front room back into mine, re-arranging the entire of my room so that I can actually fit things into it, and doing all the dishes that I’ve hoarded from the last time they came around to inspect. Yeah, tidiness is definitely not one of those things that I could claim on a C.V. One skill that I have managed to crack however is Speed-Tidying. I literally deserve a medal for that!

It seems that I  can turn something like this:

(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2569251/A-real-fixer-upper-just-tidy-help-Squalid-property-sale-114-000-owners-bothered-make-beds-clear-rubbish-strewn-floors-washing-up.html)

into something like this…

(1.bp.blogspot.com/tIVTrfrkXXE/T6A9kjjzr6I/AAAAAAAAACs/YwzXc7NcCaU/s1600/Tidy+bedroom.jpg)

…in about 30 mins flat, and basically it’s because I have a system.

First, I throw all the clothes into one corner of the room – and then put it into bin bags and taken them  down to the washing machine.

Then, I grab another bin bag and throw all the rubbish away.

And then finally, I hoover and actually put things where they belong.

Oh, and also, obviously neither of these are my room, I mean, there would be no point being anon if I were to actually post pictures of my bedroom… but basically picture one (and probably actually a bit worse) to picture two in 30 mins. I find that breaking it down into separate jobs really helps, so I don’t spend like an extra hour stressing about everything.

So you might just be thinking, oh Sarah stop exaggerating: it obviously doesn’t matter about the lettings agent coming around if you can do all that in half an hour, but I just worry so much that it still won’t be good enough. I mean, surely we have to have some kind of penance for making it suddenly appear as if we’ve got it all sorted. I mean, we always start with good intentions after a visit, but after a week or two our room just turns into a pit of despair. I’m talking actual bio-hazard levels. Mouldy plates, dominoes boxes, dirty and ‘clean’ clothes mixed together. It gets to the point where it just seems to much to deal with all in one go, so I just put it off, and put it off, until somebody wants to come around, and then I engage Clean-Freak Sarah mode.

…and anyway Clean-Freak Sarah is a scary Sarah.  She’s the kind of Sarah who has to be left alone, and if liable to shout at anybody who enters a room. I’ve always been that way: if I’m cleaning -leave me to it and come back in a couple of hours, so really it is kind of a big deal.

 

Anyway, there’s what I have to deal with. Bring on the awkward ‘where do I stand’ moments when they actually turn up – at least my room is tidy! I guess if there was kind of any moral to this it would be to keep your bedrooms tidy to avoid all this…. but yeah…

Sarah xx